Have you ever wonder how life will be, if you had taken that step? That step that might just lead to the better and had every other chance for the worst? Life is full of what-if's. And a little what-if question just resurfaced on my mind, the question I had asked myself five years ago.

What if I had been smart enough and got awarded the ASEAN scholarship when I was in Standard 6? How would my life in Singapore be? Will I fit in? Will I be happier? Will I still be discriminated like I've always been all my primary school life?

If only I had put in more effort than no effort that year, if only I knew how important that scholarship was to me when I was 12 years old, if only I felt the love I felt towards that country since I first set foot there last year...

If only...

Yes, I'm still emo about that sad memory until now.

Then again, I would miss loads of events happening in my family, in Malaysia (no, it ain't bout the love for my country).

1. I would miss the birth of my 3rd and 4th uncle's first child. And second. And third.

2. I would miss the quick-paced progress of my mother's career.

3. I would miss my chickens.

4. I would never have met my goodie goodie good genius friends.

5. You might not be reading this now.

6. I would be asking "What if I DIDN'T get the scholarship?"

7. I would be facing a huge risk of being sent back to Malaysia due to my hollow skull.

8. I might get too stressed mentally and socially and then commit suicide.

9. I would declare the 8th point as untrue because I LOVE MYSELF TOO MUCH :)

10. I would die of starvation. (Singapore's food price too expensive larrr T.T)

I would say that it's fated for me to stay in Malaysia and then die due to SPM stress, but since I still don't believe in God because you haven't gave me a scientifically logical reason on His existence, so I guess I'll just say that I want to give myself more time to prepare to become independant because I really might die due to immaturity *self-consoling*.

Enough about dying! I'm making it seem like I'd die either way -_-

PS: I actually started using hair conditioner today. My hair turned so smooth immediately, I swear if I was Rapunzel, Prince Charming would slip off. And fall. And die. Bwahahaha!

~ Angelina